Archives 2020

Within the competitive nature of our world, where individuals often resort to bringing others down in pursuit of status, strive to the principle of “Trusting the wait.” In today’s fast-paced society, the desire for immediate success and wealth is prevalent. While some may achieve rapid success, it’s essential to recognize that others may take a more gradual path, and that’s perfectly acceptable. It’s natural to experience feelings of being left out or left behind when witnessing others attain the success we aspire to achieve. However, in those moments, it’s important to offer genuine support and well wishes to those who have succeeded while continuing to forge ahead on our own unique journey.

Every individual’s life journey is unique, characterized by its own set of challenges, triumphs, and experiences. It’s crucial to acknowledge that everything unfolds in its own time, and when the moment is right, things will fall into place seamlessly. Until then, it’s imperative to maintain a mindset of ambition and resilience, always striving for greatness and aiming to soar to new heights.

“Think big, Fly high”

If I could only travel back in time to reach out to my teenage self, I would emphasize just how extraordinary you are in every aspect of your life. I would stress the importance of living in the present moment, highlighting that while planning for the future is necessary, worrying excessively about it can detract from the joys of today. I would encourage you to embrace your beauty, flaws and all, understanding that true beauty lies in self-acceptance.

Moreover, I would advise against the pointless undertaking of trying to predict the future, as it often leads to unnecessary stress and anxiety. Instead, I would urge you to focus on nurturing your physical and mental well-being, disregarding the opinions of others regarding your appearance. I would emphasize the significance of finding happiness in simple pleasures, such as witnessing the genuine laughter of your loved ones, treating yourself to small indulgences like your favorite chocolate, or immersing yourself in activities that bring you fulfillment and joy.

Above all, I would reassure you that it’s never too late to begin living in the moment. By embracing the present and appreciating life’s little pleasures, you’ll find that everything will gradually fall into place, leading to a more fulfilling and meaningful existence.

Positivity can create wonders but how many wonders do we see happening in the world around us? Very few. This could mean that either positivity is not easy (very few could have it) or it is not working for the majority to do wonders. Or both (not easy and not working).

What is positivity, then?

Probably, thinking ‘All is well’ no matter what happens around us is positivity. Let’s see the following examples of positivity inline with the above definition.

• A beggar says that he sees himself rich one day with all the     securities a life asks for.    
     
• A student who has never studied saying that he/she is certain about passing the exam.
     
• The positivity will tell us not to worry about the current pandemic and be your usual self. The discipline and social distancing is for the negative mind.
     
• A lover who has lost the relationship, continues to think that the relationship is not lost.
  

Do the above examples speak of positivity that we regard highly of? Surely not, as the examples are quite extreme, which clearly shows something is wrong in them. Ironically however, in reality and in practice, the majority goes by above definition of positivity. They tend to ignore the changing events and continue to stay in the bubble of their comfort zone until it bursts one day. Staying in your comfort zone is not positivity but just wishful thinking.

Your wishful thinking can become positivity when you substantiate it with the right actions. When you do right actions, it builds confidence in your wishful thinking, which then turns it into a positive force that can do wonders for you.

What can be done?

The initial step in getting the right action is ‘Acceptance’. One needs to accept the changing reality. The reality could be harsh and unpleasant. Accepting reality is not negativity but the first step towards positivity. It is like when you are driving and want to overtake and go ahead of a vehicle too close in-front, you are required to slow down, create room for you to see the situation (accept the reality) and then race ahead at the right time (plan and execute the right actions).

Looks simple isn’t it? However, as it turns out, the ‘Acceptance’ is the most difficult step in your success path in achieving positivity and the wonders that follow it.

Is It difficult to Accept? Why?

We are living in a dynamic world where it is said that the only constant in this world is ‘Change’. Exactly opposite is our nature, as we seek and desire stability and continuity in our life. A change, although inevitable, is neither easy nor desirable. Further, the change is unpredictable. We may do detailed planning to foresee the changes but we cannot guarantee that events will unfold in the planned way only. An unexpected event can put our plans in disarray and much of the time it would be hard to accept. If we couple this with human ego, attachment etc, then the acceptance becomes even more tough, almost impossible.

Steps that could guide your way…

1. We cannot entirely control the nature surrounding us. We have to have respect for nature for its ability to create countless possibilities. If we are not able to accept the superiority of the     nature, then it will be very difficult to keep aside the ego, which will come across as a hurdle in ‘acceptance’.
      
2. All things in this world are perishable, so it is advisable not to have any attachment. For example, the attachment could create hurdles in acceptance of the reality in relationship matters when your partner leaves you.
      
3. We cannot afford to close our eyes relying on the past positives or strengths. The openness to reevaluation will help us in acceptance of the new. This is applicable to our health where we have to adapt our ways to changing physique and cannot dwell too much in the past glory.
      
4. The silver lining is good but that alone cannot sail you through the bad weather unless you take actions to withstand.
   

So to Conclude…

1. Being positive in mind only, without corresponding actions to substantiate your thoughts, is not positivity. Such practice will not lead to the positive life that you think of. Life requires action and realistic thinking, not just happy thoughts.
      
2. Thinking over positive means insisting that the silver lining is the only lining to look at, and in bargain failing to look at other crucial points in life that may require your attention.
      
3. In the case of the current COVID-19 pandemic, thinking that nothing will happen to us or to our family may also be detrimental. When you’re lost in thoughts of your positivity, you may be less likely to take care of yourself and your dear ones. The actions are     important to support your thoughts.
      
4. Living in the past glory can lead us to ignore or avoid the current unpleasant or uncomfortable emotions that need to be brought to light in order to get resolved.
      

It is not possible for everybody in this world to be happy every time. Each day may bring us different situations and thereby different feelings and emotions. Therefore it is important to accept the fluctuations and uniqueness of days.

It takes courage to explore sensitive feelings and difficult experiences. The alternative — doing nothing about these challenges — is a far less courageous act.

In my career as counselor – I have seen that people have difficulty making decision.

In fact, Many scientific studies have shown that counseling can be effective in working with a variety of problems. However, a commitment is necessary for change to be seen. You can talk with your counselor what is expected of this commitment in terms of time, effort, and goal-setting.